One of the problems with posting in an open forum is that I have to balance and self-edit some of what I want to say. The issue isn't that what I might say would offend anyone or be somehow crude or inappropriate, but is typically because it might relate to a semi-private situation or that it might relate to something I'm currently involved in, and as a result, could cause confusion or offense.
Case in point: My schedule is severely overbooked. I could explain which things on my schedule probably need to go, but then those organizations or groups that I'm involved with could read that a certain way and take offense, or be hurt, or whatever. I don't want that. Obviously, I think that everything I'm involved in is valuable and important. But sometimes, the perfect storm hits, and this is one of those weeks. When that happens it almost always causes me to take a closer look at what I'm involved with, and begin to decide which things have to go.
This coming weekend, I'm leading a youth retreat for a group of churches that asked me to speak. I've been looking forward to it for a while. I haven't done any youth-type stuff in a while, and the retreat is at one of my favorite locations in upstate New York. My entire family gets to with me, to boot, so we'll have a good weekend away (in February, in upstate New York...that will either sound delightful to you, or absolutely terrible.)
Unfortunately, I also have three basketball games this week (each with a JV and Varsity game), two church meetings, and a board meeting for the non-profit that I'm a part of. I'm overbooked.
The problem, of course, is that the things that really are a priority–my family, my own health physically, spiritually, and mentally, and my job-all take a backseat to just getting things done. Everyone has a limit to the things that they can achieve or reasonably accomplish. I'm certainly doing more than my limit.
Then there are other implications to being overbooked. One is that you have no flex time for other people. I forget where I heard the term flex-time in relation to this concept, (or maybe I made it up!), but essentially it's the idea that you would schedule in unscheduled time in your calendar. So each week, you'd schedule in time where you knew that you had nothing scheduled. This is different than "free time". It's different than "scheduled time". It's "flex-time". It's time that you scheduled in to use, if necessary, that doesn't make you overly-booked or overly-free. In essence, it's a schedule buffer. If things get tight, you aren't stealing from your family or your free time, you are borrowing "flex-time".
If there is no flex-time, then inevitably something is going to give in one of the important areas that you typically don't schedule. In my case, a temporary addition of coaching basketball means I give up a lot of family time; if church gets busy, that eats up any additional time I might have had; if there are pastoral concerns that arise, it eats up free time; next thing you know, my own health and my family health have been squeezed out, and things are in bad shape.
In pre-marital counseling, we ask couples to consider what they want to do in the future before making choices today. You can't always predict what those things will be, but when you can, you can make wiser choices now to make sure that the important things aren't squeezed out in the future. For example, if you want to have one parent stay home with the children, then don't buy a house before having kids that requires two salaries to support. The choice you make today squeezes out the choice you want to make tomorrow, before you have even made it.
Such is the case with scheduling. If you want to have time for people, and your own health, and your family, and to do the things you really love, don't overbook yourself. You don't have to feel bad about saying no to something; you do have to count the cost of it before you say yes.
Perhaps I should have taken my own advice.