The train of thought went like this:
I was somewhat sullen after a long summer, filled with more challenges and tragedy than I could have possibly expected.
I thought back to when I was feeling really fulfilled in my work and ministry, and remembered that it was earlier this year.
What was I doing then? I was writing more frequently–nearly every day, in fact. I was working up to something; writing was an outlet not just for my own joy but also for the burden I felt to share what God was doing in the world and how we should think about it.
I didn't feel like I could have that joy again.
And then I remembered the first post that I had written when I got back into writing. It was titled, "restarting and the Christian life." I read it again, and remembered. Sometimes you just need to get back on the horse.
The most shocking thing to me, perhaps, is that I got away from it to begin with. Why did that happen? What squeezed out the most joy-filled part of my day, the part I really looked forward to, the part that made me feel like every other part of the day was worth it? Of course I'm speaking about a work day here, not the day generally. There are plenty of things to make the day, each day, worth living, even if I were to place the general calling of the Christian that gave my life purpose to the side. A wife, children, the blessing of provision, and on it goes. Yet most of us go to work day in and day out and we can say that we love our work but what we mean is that we love spects of our work and we endure the other aspects of it because they allow us to do the things that we really love.
A friend of mine who is an exceptional communicator and pastors his church well through that gift said to me that he loved preaching so much on Sunday that he endured the meetings throughout the week just so that he would have a chance to do that. That sentiment resonates.
Somehow that thing that I really enjoyed, and felt like I was fulfilled in, got squeezed out. Life does that. We need to protect the things that give us joy, or they get bumped to the side. I think it's for the same reason that our most important relationships tend to get neglected; we assume they will always be there, so we don't invest much in them. Then we find that they have deteriorated. Or we find that we aren't doing the things that bring us joy anymore, because life took over.
That joy need to be recaptured.
There are things in your life that used to bring you joy. Maybe it was a particular activity, maybe it was a relationship. Maybe you used to find joy in reading, but you haven't read in a while. Maybe you used to find joy in your marriage, and you wonder where it went. Many times we are concerned we may never get that joy back. The answer, I think, is just to press in. Start reading. Begin the activity. Invest in the relationship. Just do it.
You may find that the joy can be recaptured after all.