Last week I got tricked into doing a diet for lent. My wife suggested that we go on the diet together, and I was more than happy to comply. Thirty days of eliminating some bad stuff that we don't need. I'm all in. It wasn't until after we started that she gave me the spin:
Hey, since we started on the first day of Lent, we can just do this until Easter!
So instead of 30 days, now it's 40. Oh–and today I remembered that Lent is actually 46 days, plus Easter, because Sunday's aren't counted as part of the 40. And worst of all, if we fail, we're failing Jesus. Great. Just great.
The problem with this "elimination" diet, where you remove all of the stuff in your diet that the dietician you've chosen as your guru tells you is junk is not just that you realize all the garbage you've been eating, but you realize all the garbage that you could eat, if you really wanted to. And not because you'd fall off the wagon and go on a bender at the grocery store. You'd just need to open your pantry or your fridge. It's all right there. The garbage is around you all the time. You're surrounded by all this stuff, and unless you make a conscious decision to turn away from it, you're going to embrace it.
Participating in some form of Lenten self-denial, even if it was accidental, has made me realize how easy it is for me to indulge in basically anything that I want to indulge in, and not just that, but how often I actually do it. Food, stuff, entertainment. Whatever it is. When I want it, I can get it. That's the age we live in. And unless I'm making a conscious decision to turn away from all the things I could indulge in, I embrace it.
I'm not sure I have any sure-fire solutions to this problem, but over the next few days I'm going to offer some suggestions that we have been trying. I realize this is sort of like asking someone for some advice on dealing with suffering while they're in the midst of it, or asking someone the best way to parent when their kids are still toddlers. Everyone thinks they know the best solution when they're in the middle of it, but they don't really know until they're through it. It's usually better to ask them how they dealt with suffering once it's over and they're still mentally healthy, or to ask a parent how they did it when they're kids are functioning adults.
So maybe this is more for me than you. Either way, time will tell. So here's the first suggestion:
Give self-denial a try.
I hate this. Period. But the truth is that until you deny yourself something, you don't really know whether you could live without it, especially if it's a luxury item.
That glass (or three) of wine every day? You know you could give it up. You just don't want to. I get it. Me neither. But how do you actually know you could give it up? How do you know that you haven't become dependent on it, even if only emotionally? I'm all in on the daily glass of wine (or daily cookie or whatever your comfort food choice is) but if you never deny yourself, you'll never know if it's controlling you or you are controlling it.
I read a super-convicting statement before we went on this diet, that said something like this: no one forces you to cheat on your diet. A glass of wine doesn't magically appear. You don't accidentally have a piece of cake. No one forces you to eat unhealthy. It's your choice. Which means, you can take control, and stop being controlled by your circumstances.
Yes, we live in a world that encourages me to indulge in everything I want, when I want it. But I don't have to. That's my choice, and I want to own it.
But I hate it. Which, ironically, is exactly the reason I need to do it from time to time.